Joys of Motherhood

Doesn't she look peaceful?
My sweet, beautiful girl.

This is the same child who, lately, has made me question my unending adoration of little girls.
I want to know why no one warned me that "teenager" started WAY before 13.
Like, years before.

And I will love her through it all.
Even if I don't like her some days.
We will be friends again when she's 24.

Until then, we will muddle our way through as she transforms, slowly, into a beautiful and confident woman.

I love him.
I don't get many good shots of this cute boy.
He wiggles a lot.

And he really likes to chew gum.

That little one on the right?
He was not in a mood for having his picture taken.
So there aren't any.

Except this lovely group shot.
There are only about 10 of these on my computer.
And this was the best one.

Little, drive-you-crazy, and somehow, still-adore-them, loves.

Inventions

Photo courtesy of April Allsyon Abel, a woman who inspires daily invention. 

People think up new ideas all the time.
Some people just think about them.
Other people do more than just think.

They take action.

I wonder who has better odds of success - the folks who act on every single idea, or the ones who really focus on just one thing and make it happen?
Is it like sales? The more calls you make, inherently by statistic,  the better your numbers are?

But what if the invention is yourself?

I used the be the kind of person who picked one thing and went after it with all the force and focus I could muster.
Pretty exhausting when the one thing turns out to be the wrong thing.
Or at least wrong for me.

Alas, in my "old" age, I don't know what the one thing is anymore.
I find myself stirring and jumping into 12 different pots at once, having no real clue which one is "right".
But I do know what is wrong, so I guess that's something.

Maybe there isn't a right answer. Maybe our parents idea of picking something, one thing, and doing it forever and forever isn't the right way, just the way they did it. Maybe the world really is different now.

Can we be happy with an undefined career?
No, that's not a cop-out or a carefully worded disguise for no career.
Is a broad brush better than a pigeon hole? I don't know.

But the truth is, no matter what, staying relevant in this world is hard. Really hard.

Everyone wants to be relevant.
Everyone needs to be relevant.
Our disposable mindset moves from objects to people.

Does constant reinvention keep us out of the trash?
It sure can keep you busy. I know that much.
Getting comfortable with the great unknown, closing your eyes and jumping takes some getting used to.
Ah, but the promise of true fulfillment is an addicting chase.

I have never taken bigger leaps than I have over the past few years, and for the first time, I  see a real opportunity to live a complete life. I just have no idea which pot I will end up in.

Scariest. Thing. Ever.
Tossing the comfort and camaraderie of common daily misery is, well, nausea-inducing.

So, I offer applause to all my friends and colleagues who have chosen to stand, undefined, proudly reinventing for a greater purpose, and a chance live truthfully, as they are.

Much love and admiration.

What to Give

So, every year, like everyone else, I have to figure out what to buy the "difficult" people on my list.
It isn't that they are actually difficult.
(That may be too generous)

Let me explain.

All of my grandparents are still alive (I know!).
So - what in the world do you give to people who have everything?
And by everything, I mean every last thing a person could want.
And they stopped collecting circa 1972.

You should also know that I have been harassed of late.
For not giving any of them updated photos of the kids.
How am I supposed to remember they're not on Facebook?

Photobook.
I took a lot of pictures this year.
Serious hit. All the way around.

There is this company I like - Blurb.
I have used them before, and my sister did her wedding album with them.
Basically, they have awesome software so even if you are horrible at design-y type stuff, your book should still turn out great.

This is my middle guy's first day ever of t-ball.

This is a full two-page spread, with a full bleed.
Just don't choose a photo with a face in the middle.
It ends up in the crack.

And of course, Miss Ballerina.
The page layouts are predesigned but you can edit the pre-designed design to suit you.
And the color around the photos? Yep, you can change that too.

The software also gives crop lines and crack lines.
So you know if you're chopping anyone's head off.
Or if you forgot, and put someone's face in the crack.

I did this book in chronological order, but the choice is yours.
It took me about 3-4 hours total to put together.
And about 5 days to get them here.
Not bad when you get to knock 6 gifts off the list.

I decided to give the book to my parents as well.
Everyone really seemed to love it.
They have been passed around offices, parties, and extended family visits.
I highly recommend making one for your nearest and dearest.

Blurb can also automatically generate a book from your Facebook photos. (comments included...yikes)
AND they do a super cool Instagram book - straight from your Instagram account!
They pretty much rock.

So, for my family and close friends who have requested a copy...here's your chance.
If you would like to preview and buy your very own, here you go!
http://www.blurb.com/my/book/detail/2836401


Have fun book-making!!

Going Public

Now that the holidays are over,  and in the spirit of a new year, new beginnings, fresh starts and resolutions, I thought it was time I go public with some of my own stuff.

You ready for this?
Kind of like having a child for the first time - you are never as ready or prepared as you think.
But here it goes.

I have spent most of the last two years going through a divorce.
Yep, the D word.

Regardless of whose fault it is, who did or said whatever, really does not matter (at least not you).
It is hands down, the most embarrassing, shame filled, all consuming struggle I have ever had to go through.
I don't wish it on anyone.

For much of it, all the public saw was chipper-as-ever, smiling, laughing, me.
But as the complexities dragged on and on, I just couldn't keep the facade going.

I am sure it has been hard to watch.
I know it has been hard to be my friend.
I am eternally grateful to the few who weathered this storm with me, holding my hand, lifting me up.

To quote a holiday card from one of those cherished friends,

"A new year approaches, full of promise. 
I wish you joy, peace and the courage to make your dreams come true." 


And that my friends, is all I have to say about that.
I am more than ready to welcome 2012 and all the promise it holds.

Happy New Year.
Let's do this.

Give Thanks

This year, in particular, I am thankful, grateful, and reflective.

But that didn't stop my 24-hour advance holiday freak out.
I cooked for a few less people this year, but it didn't seem to matter.
I only know how to cook meals for armies. I was raised that way.

I love a silver gravy boat.
It makes your table feel special.

I don't really know many people who set the table with the good china.
And then put it all away.
Four hours before dinner.

This is my 'staging' area.
This is also that crazy mirror.
From my crazy day with Mackenzie Childs on her boat, I mean ferry.
If you missed that, read this.

The menu was pretty standard Thanksgiving fare...
You should know I am a huge Barefoot Contessa fan.
She is weird on TV (sorry Ina) but her food is freaking amazing.

On our table this year...(links included!)

1. Deep fried turkey (thanks Dad)

2. Sweet potato casserole topped with caramelized sugar apples

3. Homemade Stuffing (you know, the kind with sausage, apples, and cranberries)

4. Cranberry salad (old family recipe)

5. Macaroni & Cheese

6. Mom's homemade applesauce (if you are cute and nice, she will give lessons)

7. Kale (from Dad's garden)

8. Roasted Beets (don't make that face before you try them)
Really glad Ina took pictures of this one.
Cause I sure didn't.

9. Pumpkin Pie!
This chick is awesome too.
I recommend her food skills.

10. Fresh Lemon Mousse

The pictures I took of that one pretty much sucked.
And so did the google photo.
So I just have to tell you that it was delicious and you should try it out.

Happy Thanksgiving from our crazy, dysfunctional, but loving family to yours.

I am thankful for my three beautiful and precious children, my family who made me who I am today, and for the gift of a kind of friendship that I did not know could exist.
I am grateful for all that I have.

Just so you know I haven't gone completely sappy.
Stay tuned for the Nutcracker post.
You know that dysfunctional family I mentioned?
Yeah. You don't want to miss this.

Working

Just thought I would share what working from home looks like.

My computer is on the back of the couch because it seemed easier to just work from there rather than the table I guess?

So far today I have:

Cheered for a one hour school delay, dressed, fed, and packed lunches for 2 of 3 children, taken said children to school, drove back home, worked on customer orders/follow up, cleaned up the house, cleaned the bathroom, negotiated with a four-year-old that if he insisted on wearing shorts he was going to at least have to wear long sleeves, worked some more on volunteer ballet requests, started making muffins, did a load of laundry, packed my daughter's ballet bag for tonight, was on Pinterest, oh I don't know, at least 12 times, forgot I was making muffins and working on volunteer stuff, realized it was getting late and finished the muffins (since I am working the children into a post-Halloween detox), boiled eggs (for the same detox), sat down to eat my lunch, noticed again how late it was getting, took a picture of my food and computer, wrote a blog post, and am now headed to the shower and then to pick my daughter up at 3:10 to take her an hour and 15 min each way to her ballet class (don't ask but just know we are very happy and crazy), take my own ballet class after that (really and for real) so that I can attempt to fulfill my latest volunteer request. Misty, please know how much I love you.

I don't normally do run-on sentences.
Seemed fitting for today.

Halloween Tart

The kids are pretty much allowed to pick whatever they want to be for Halloween. 

My oldest has NEVER wanted to be anything cute or sweet. 

She has been a witch (cutest witch ever at 2 years old), skeleton, vampire queen, you name it. 

Except for the year she dressed as the hooker version of Ariel. 

She was four, spotted this little number at Target and HAD to have it. 

I tried explaining to her that it was the toddler size and she needed to move into the "big" kid size. 

But the big kid size was a different design. 

Hysteria ensued. 

On the floor, in the Halloween aisle. 

So I did what every mother dragging a two-year-old and VERY fresh, also screaming, newborn would do. 

I gave her whatever she wanted.

That same year,

The two year old refused to wear his beloved Thomas the Train costume. 

He wore the dog's Vampire cape. 

And that sweet little newborn?

Imagine the fun I had. 

That marked the end of homemade costumes.

I could barely get a shower in those days. 

Fast forward four years. 

My oldest wants to be a Devil. 

I don't like it. I don't like it at all. 

And not just any Devil. 

The $174 costume she saw in a catalog Devil. 

Thankfully, that costume sold out (seriously??!!). 

We negotiate, round and round.
She announces her second choice is a $150 massive goldfish costume.
Guess who recommends we make our own version of the devil costume - minus the horns.

The goal was to be scary and a little glamorous.
And less tarty.
Oh, and warmer.

I actually enjoyed myself a little. 

The headpiece was my favorite.

Still scary. No horns. Everyone was happy. 

Let's not forget "Dark" Vader. 

And if the little one (whose personality has not changed from his Sebastian days) stood still for a second, there would be a picture of him. 

All in all, they had a great time. 

Shivering and hoofing all over the neighborhood paid off. 

Since I am not prepared to endure the preteen "does your mother know you are wearing that" costumes that are inevitably headed my way, I guess I better not complain so much about sewing.