Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Easy Bake Oven

We sell baby stuff. 
Furniture, bedding, gifts, towels, bath soap, you name it.

People always ask me "doesn't it make you want to have another baby?"
Umm, no? Not exactly.

Sure, the THOUGHT of being pregnant again makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.
But the THOUGHT of being responsible for raising another child does not.

I did decide to have another baby - a business. 
It has taken all the sleepless nights, exhaustion, commitment and love that a baby does.
I'm good with that.

All that being said, a life changing event has occurred in my family. 

This is a picture of my little sister, 24 years ago, in the NICU. 
She was born with an intestinal disease for which there was no cure and all babies born before her died. 

The surgeons decided to take a chance. 
She had extensive surgery, all exploratory and experimental, as a newborn baby.

They saved her life. 
She has worn deep abdominal scars her entire life. 

But they saved her life. 

Recently, she went in for a routine ovarian cyst removal that seemed to be preventing pregnancy. 
The surgery did not go routinely.
When she woke up the news was grim. 

Due to the extensive adhesions, her abdomen is a twisted, nearly solid, wall of intestine and other organs. 
Carrying a full term pregnancy is out of the question. 
She will risk her own life and certainly the baby's life. 
Sobbing was the only appropriate response.

Can you imagine? 

Newly married, full of anticipation of becoming a mother and building a family. 
Shattered in an instant.
Anger welling over the cards life has dealt.
But without the cards she would have no life. 

In my heart and in my mind, there was no question how this would turn out. 
So, very, very soon, the genetic child of my sister and her husband will begin it's life inside my body.

I will never forget what it felt like to become a mother for the first time.
I am unbelievably honored and humbled to have the opportunity to help my only sister to have a child of her own. 
This will be a crazy journey for us both - full of laughter and tears and anxiety and hope. 
And life.

She didn't have any say in the way her surgeries went as a baby. 
And she doesn't have any say in whether or not it is safe to have a baby now.
I think she deserves the opportunity to have something go right. Just this once.

Deep breath. 
Take another. 
Holy Moly. 

Just call me Easy Bake.
I'm not the mother.
Just the oven.


  1. "Thank You" just doesn't seem nearly enough for what you are about to do for us...but thank you just the same! I love you Easy Bake Oven and am beyond lucky to have you as my sister! Here we go... :)

  2. That made me cry. You are amazing and it is beyond kind of you to do this for her. There is not a more profound gesture of love than this. Good luck to all of you!

  3. Who wants to call Oprah? I have always wanted to be on Oprah.

  4. I am truly overcome with love for all of you and admiration for the love and respect you and your sister must have for each other to embark on this together. What a truly lucky little baby you are about to escort into this world, Leigh. Anything you need, just call, I can't wait to watch the story unfold...Best, SaraKate

  5. You both are truly amazing women. I applaud your devotion to the happiness of Jodi and Shane! You are already a great mother and I think Jodi will be equally as wonderful. I wish you the best of health during your pregnancy and a safe delivery. Congratulations to all of you on this exciting news!!!

  6. I love you both as though you were my own and you know that I will be here for both of you. This is going to be a wonderful adventure for all of you.

  7. You truly are an amazing person. The hair on my arms literally tingled as I read your post. I'm proud to be your friend. What a lovely, generous, loving thing to do for your sister. Lucky baby will have two moms!

  8. Friend of Terianne's here... I just wanted to wish you well! Your post was touching and your decision is beautiful and selfless. I love the Easy Bake Oven analogy - if you can't find a way to make such an intense experience lighthearted, you can't survive it! Infertility, whatever the cause, is a rough road. I'm thrilled for your sister that motherhood is still within her grasp! I hope to keep tabs on this blog. Good luck!

  9. hank you!!! I am so glad she found out so early and so young - this would be a totally different story if she was 35 and I was...not 35, lol. We will definitely update the blog here!

  10. For everyone who left a comment, I didn't get rid of them! Something happened and blogger went down for a few hours. The blog post recovered but the comments did not. Thank you for all the beautiful words and wishes!

  11. I know I'm all late, but I wanted to say "thank you" from all of us that can't have children the old fashion way.